The Secret To Being Happy

Giving brings happiness, that’s what I've always been told.  But how can that be?  I mean, it isn't easy to give, I have a house payment and car insurance and all these things that demand my money, and if you throw “giving” money to someone else into that mix, what’s left for me? 

It is possible, and it doesn't have anything to do with money.  It’s something else entirely.

A friend of mine, who lives in a rural community, wanted to start a “community dinner” for the poor in her area.  She mobilized the church ladies from several churches to purchase the food and prepare it.  She planned the dinner for the last week of the month, the week that improvised families are running out of money.    She arranged to have the dinner is a central, easy-to-get-to location.  And the dinner was a huge success, but not in the way she envisioned.

She told me that the first couple dinners were full of guests, poor people sitting by themselves or their families, eyes downcast, minimal talking, with the church ladies who were serving the meal maintaining a loud and cheerful banter.  It was the dinner my friend had envisioned creating, and she felt good about it all.  She created a place where people were being fed when they most needed it. 

But then, it changed.  One of the guests brought a jar of homemade blackberry jam to share, a treasure made at the height of summer when blackberries grew everywhere and could be collected free.  The next month, another person brought a pie, someone else brought homemade bread.  My friend said she told her dinner guests, “No, no, please don’t bring anything.  We want to give to you.” But still they brought stuff.  And they shared.  The ones who didn't have something to bring got there early to help set up, and others stayed later to help clean up.  And they no longer sat silently alone with their eyes downcast, but they greeted each other as friends, and they talked and laughed and shared.  The community dinner no longer belonged exclusively to the church ladies.  It belonged to the community.

I doubt if a single guest at that dinner had a mortgage payment to worry about, although some of them may have had rent payments.  But they still found things to give to each other, and as they shared with one another, they made friends, they laughed, they found joy.

See?  It’s not really about giving money.  It’s really about sharing, and in that sharing is a magic that creates joy, creates community. 

I now pay attention to see what I can do.   If I made blackberry jam, I could share that, or if I had money, I could share that, but for me, most frequently I have time to share.  And when I do, I find joy in the sharing, and I meet new friends, and in all of that, community.

Try it.  It works.